Many people like to say that overwhelm is a result of doing too many things, ALL of the things even, and never stopping for a breath.
But I’ve noticed something altogether different.
I’ve noticed it’s not actually about the quantity of things you’re doing at all. Sure, doing a million things lacks selectiveness which is essential to a live of thrival. But fundamentally I’ve noticed that it’s never about doing a million things. A number of things only start to feel like a million things, when we’re doing the wrong things. Things that aren’t Definitely Definitelys.
Overwhelm comes up simply when situations start to amass where we haven’t actually listened to what our soul wants to do, but instead we’ve gone along with what we said we’d do or think we should do, or with what the loudest shouting person says they need us to do.
Every time you feel something, good or bad, and you ignore it, and take the opposite action, pushing your feelings down, rejecting them, your soul wails. Weakens. Dims its sparkle. Often silently, for a while. Until suddenly it’s yelling. At the smallest thing. At people you love. And then you’re being who you sure as hell don’t want to be, eating what you don’t really want to eat, taking misaligned actions all over the place, and wondering what happened to the real you? Where did the real you go?
And the more situations where you haven’t expressed yourself or acted in alignment in a given day, week, month, or year, the more the bank of evidence that you do not actually honour or fully respect your feelings or desires, and the more the overwhelm you will feel – in direct correlation – and the more out of alignment your actions will continue to be.
Until that is, you choose to wake up – fully – and decide enough is enough. That you are worthy of a life filled to the brim with Definitely Definitelys, and nothing but them.
And when you do, sure enough after a while, you find yourself in a life when you’re doing only things that you WANT to be doing, only the things that feel aligned. And it really doesn’t matter how much you’re doing. You can be busier than ever, but feeling zero overwhelm. In pure flow. Actually feeling and noticing that the more you do, the more ignited you feel, because every single thing is a hell yes and feeds you, creating a positive feedback loop.
Expressing – and then taking aligned action – on your truth is the number one most essential adjustment to eliminating overwhelm. Saying yes to what you really want to say yes to, and saying no to what you really want to say no to.
If it’s still fairly new to you, as it was to me four years ago, I recommend starting with writing. In the morning, write out what you’re feeling and what you really want to create. Write out anything you feel worried about or that doesn’t feel in alignment (anything that isn’t a Definitely Definitely). Anything that in an ideal world, you wouldn’t be doing anymore.
You won’t necessarily be able to cut out all the the things you want to immediately, it can take time, but even just letting yourself feel what you feel will start to provide a healing release that will shift your energy enormously, and enable you to put the building blocks in place to move away from anything you want to. Which, by the way, can happen faster than you can possibly imagine right now.
Then, practice expressing yourself about both everything you’re delighted about and everything that doesn’t work for you during the day – and in the moment. (Or for older issues that are not yet resolved, ASAP.) This is a muscle that gets stronger and stronger the more you use it.
Then in the evening, reflect again on what worked and didn’t work, what you’d do differently and say yes or no to if you were to start the day again, and start again tomorrow!
P.S. I’m kicking off something I’ve been thinking about for a while that feels sooooooo good (a total Definitely Definitely): a magical in-person mastermind for founders in London to get together every month for amazing food, accountability, problem solving and co-creating. Send me a direct message me if this is speaking to you.